Restless Nights
by Akito The Sex Goddess
Summary: Poison Ivy was having a peaceful evening until Harley stopped by. This is just a silly little one-shot. R&R. NOT HARLEYxIVY! Rated T for sexual reference.


An evening alone, and a peaceful evening it was. Pamela Isley, better known as Poison Ivy, lay on her couch, a gardening magazine as her solace. Flipping through the pages briskly, she pointed out plants that might make a good addition to her collection, or ones that she'd had experiences with before, or ones that just puzzled her, and she wanted to find out more about.

Just as she raised her arm to brush a lock of deep red hair out of her eyes, furious knocking on the door interrupted her thoughts and caused her to groan deeply. _Harley..._

Harley would come by from time to time, when her "Puddin'" would beat her up, or kick her out, or a combination of the both, which it _usually_ was. It always made Pamela sad to see Harley with tears pouring down her face like a pitcher of lemonade, but recently the frequency of these visits had been growing, and it aggravated her.

Tiredly, she stood and walked over to the door, creaking it open, expecting to see a broken-hearted Harley with a fountain of tears. But instead, her heart sunk as she saw the disappointed look on her best friends face, a cut on her lip, and a black-and-blue eye.

"C-Can I come in?" Harley asked quietly, looking down. Her eyes sparkled with tears, but none fell. Her hair was poking out from her jester's hat, and she had an overcoat wrapped around her, which she deliberately placed her hands into. Pamela stepped aside and let her friend in.

"Harley... what... What happened?" She asked, a worried look on her face. She placed her hand on Harley's shoulder to comfort her. The distressed damsel turned and gave her friend a hug.

"Same old, I just need a place to stay, again. Hope it ain't too much trouble."

"No, no Harley, it's fine. Let me take that for you," Pamela said, picking up Harley's bag and taking it to her room, Harley following not too far behind.

"Thanks, Red. I knew I could count on you." The way she said it, though, didn't sound unconvincing, but rather... saddened. She gave a sigh as she sat on the bed. "I think I'm gonna go straight to bed, 'kay?"

"It's fine. Do you need anything?" Pamela asked, standing in the doorway on her way to leave. Harley shook her head.

"Nope, I'm good for now. Thanks for askin'."

"Anytime." With that, Pamela walked out and shut the door.

"Wait... Red?"

"What is it, Harley?" She asked, poking her head back in.

"You couldn't trouble me for a glass o' water... could ya?" Harley said. Her jacket was set on the chair and she was already snuggled down in the covers.

"Sure," Pamela said, closing the door as she walked into the kitchen. She filled up a glass and returned it to the harlequin gal.

"Thanks again, Red," Harley said, taking a gulp of the water after she spoke. Pamela nodded quickly, walking out once more.

"G'night."

"Oh... Red?" She poked her head in again.

"Yes, Harley, what is it?"

"Uh, sorry to bother but... I got sort of a stomach ache. Could you get me an acid reducer of some sorts?"

"Will a TUMS do?"

"Yeah, that'd be great." Pamela went into the kitchen, briskly taking out a bottle of TUMS and sliding out two from the package. She then returned the bottle to the cupboard and glided into the bedroom, handing Harley the two antacids.

"Thanks, you're a doll," Harley said, munching on the TUMS as she took them with her water. Pamela smiled and nodded, going to exit, but stopping before she did so.

"Now, is there aannnnyyything else, Harls?"

"Nope, I'm good. Thanks again." Pamela nodded, _positive_ that there couldn't be _one more thing_ the girl could want, and stepped out of the room, closing the door. Not hearing another peep from her good friend, she smiled and retired to her own room for the rest of the evening.

Just as she was settling down into the sheets, an outburst of crying flooded her ears. She gave a loud, audible sigh and stood, walking out into the hall. She opened the door to see Harley, holding her pillow, bawling her eyes out.

"Is everything alright in here?" she asked, less than thrilled, yet concerned all the while. Harley nodded, her face shoved into the pillow.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Go onto bed, I'll be okay." Pamela sighed and walked into the room, pulling up the chair to sit next to Harley.

"Tell me what's wrong, Sweetie," she asked, rubbing the crying girl's blonde hair out of her face. Harley sniffled and looked up.

"Well, its just... Every night, me and Mistah J would always snuggle up to each other – he'd hold me, and kiss me, and tell me I'm beautiful, and – BWA HA HAAAAAA!" She began to bawl into the pillow again. Pamela sighed deeply, rubbing her hand along the jester's shoulder.

"It's alright, it's alright...shh... Now. I'll get you something to snuggle with, alright?" Harley sniffed, looking up.

"Okay." Pamela stood, walking out the door into the closet area. She dug and dug and – finally – found a body pillow that she'd never actually used. She fluffed it up a bit and brought it back to Harley's room.

"Here, it's a body pillow. When you lay it next to you, it'll feel like your "Puddin'" is right there with you, alright?"

"Alright. Thanks, Red."

"No problem." Pamela stood and walked out of there, back into her room, and slipped under the covers. Satisfied, yet again, that Harley could not _possibly_ ask for anything else, she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

"Red? Hey, hey Red. Reeeed." She opened her eyes. There, above her bed, stood Harley, a sad look on her face again. As her eyes focused, she looked toward the alarm clock. 2:56 am.

"What do you want, Harley?" Pamela had groaned, rubbing her eyes and looking again to make sure that was the accurate time.

"Can, c-can you lay by me? I won't be a bother again, I promise. Its just... It's so hard. I can't get used to sleeping alone." The way she dragged out the "o" in alone made it even the more heart-breaking. Pamela gave a sigh and nodded.

"Fine, Harley. Fine. Come on." As soon as Harley had snuggled in next to her, she turned to face the wall and closed her eyes. After giving a mental grunt as the jester managed to twist and turn to get settled in, she smiled to herself as her friend got accommodated. She was beginning to fall asleep when...

_Snore_. God no. Harley snored. And _God_ did she _snore_. Pamela covered her head with the pillow and tried to sleep. She could still hear it! How could the Joker put _up_ with this?! But that wasn't even the worst part.

"Mmph... Pud...din'." Ugh. She _talked_ in her sleep, too! It must be a _miracle_ for the Joker to get any rest at ALL, for _one_ night, let alone every _day_.

Pamela's eyes shot open. _Did she just... grope me?!_

"Pu...Puddin'..." Harley mumbled, snuggling her friend and nuzzling her face into Pamela's shoulder. The botanist groaned.

"H-Harley. Wake up."

"Mmph... M-Mistah...J... Forget doc..tor... let's play.. gy..gynecologist..."

"Wake up, Harley!" Pamela shrieked, shaking her friend by the shoulders. Harley woke up, startled.

"What... what is it, Red?" Pamela stopped shaking her and lay back down.

"Sorry you were just..."

_Snore_. Pamela blinked.

"...completely ignoring me," she continued with a grunt. Oh, it was going to be a _very long night_.

--

Somehow, she'd managed to make it until morning. She'd slept in, seeing as Harley kept her up for a good couple of hours later than she'd liked. But at least she'd gotten to sleep eventually, droning out Harley's droning and obsessive "Puddin'"-ness.

"G'mornin', Sunshine! Wakie, wakie! Early bird gets the worm! Yadda, yadda, come on, Red!" No one said she'd awoken _peacefully_. She'd opened her eyes to see Harley bouncing up and down on the bed, a cheery look on her face.

"Feeling better, perhaps?" she'd managed to grumble as she sat upright. Harley nodded, bouncing off the bed and landing firmly on her feet.

"Yep! I had a vision last night! An _angel_ came to me! He told me that me and Puddin' were kaput from now on... that I had bigger and better things to look forward to! And now, I'm completely over him! He can kiss his sorry white butt good-bye, 'cause I ain't second banana no more!"

"I'm glad you've come to your senses," Pamela said, happy for her friend, yet still in disbelief. Harley had tried to get over him so many times, but when you love someone, you _really_ love someone, and it was ten times that in this case. Harley _adored_ the Joker, _obsessed_ over him – she'd do _anything_, even jump off the Empire State Building, all for him. That devilish bastard.

The only thing Pamela hated more than to see her friend cry was that beaming baboon, that high-egoed, malicious, cheap, deceiving little...

"Believe me, Red, I'm a new gal, I am! Harley Quinn is her own woman! I got so much to do – I gotta get henchmen, I gotta plan my first heist... I gotta show that jerk what he's missin'!" With that, she licked her finger and placed it to her rear, making a sizzle noise.

"How about a little breakfast, first," Pamela said, yawning. Harley giggled and nodded.

"Waaaay ahead of you, babe!" She laughed and did backwards cartwheels out the door. "Come on, Red! French toast with berries – doesn't that just sound great?!"

"Sure does, Harls," Pamela said, standing out of bed. She made her bed quickly, then followed after her bouncy, happy friend. She was glad that Harley was back to her old self again. But it was only a matter of time...

"Smells heavenly," Pamela said, inhaling the rather delectable aroma that floated around the kitchen. Man, Harley could sure cook. She never even knew her friend's "hidden talent", but it didn't surprise her. She must have had to cook for the Joker all the time, and he's not really the kind of person to have "low standards".

"Thank ya, Red!" Harley said, holding out her hand like she was unveiling a theatrical play of sorts. Behind her was all the breakfast food you could think of – of course there was French toast, then there was hot cereal, cold cereal, toast, scrambled eggs, fried eggs, poached eggs, omelets, pancakes, waffles – so much to choose from! Pamela smiled. Man, they'd have a _lot_ of leftovers.

"Mm, this is delicious!" Pamela said, taking a bite of her French toast. "You must have been up all morning. What'd you do, clean out my fridge?"

"Heh, I tried to use what was there. But then I used up your eggs and bread so I went out and got some more! Hope you don't mind wheat."

"No, no, that's fine. Thanks, Harley."

"What are friends for?" Pamela smiled and munched on her food.

"Well, I'm so glad you're over that over-egoed jerk, Harls. You're waaaay to good for him."

"Yeah, I know Harley. This is real, this time. Me and Puddin – we're through. Vamoose, vaminos, kaput, downright -" Harley's gaze focused on the end table. On it was a slender vase, with a single red rose inside and a note attached. She slowly walked over to it, picking up the note to read it.

_Harley,_

_Forgive me?_

_J _

Harley beamed and pressed the note to her chest. "Oh, Puddin'! He loves me, he really loves me! Oh, I can't believe this! I knew it! I knew we had somethin' special! Oh, Puddin' I'm comin' for ya!" Harley giggled. "Thanks, Red! Wish I could stay, but I gotta go and give Mistah J a biiiiig smooch! See ya in the funny pages!" With that, she bounded on the door, crying "yippee!" on her way out. Pamela sighed and let her head droop. _Here we go again_...

--

_Thanks for reading! Just a little one-shot I had the idea for. Review, please!_


End file.
